Effective Ways to Redirect Your Child’s Behavior

Sometimes being a parent feels like you are constantly correcting your children’s behavior. Stop yelling. Don’t jump on the bed. Stop pushing your sister. No matter how much of an angel your child may be, there will always be times when you might want to bang your head against a wall with how many times you have to repeat the same instruction.

One strategy you could use during those moments is redirecting, which allows you to stop the behavior before it becomes an issue.

What Is Redirecting Behavior?

Redirecting behavior is a technique that encourages you to shift the child’s attention away from the undesirable behavior to a better one, therefore diffusing the situation. The goal of redirecting their behavior is to turn a negative situation into a positive one for everyone involved, so by interrupting their behavior, you allow it to end before it becomes a problem to avoid tantrums, conflict, or acting out. Redirecting allows for the dissipation of all of the negative feelings during the situation, leaving everyone more happy by the end of it.

When parents are faced with these undesirable behaviors, they will often try to stop these behaviors through discipline like a time-out, scolding, or grounding, but these strategies have been shown to only work for the short term and leave many feelings of anger and resentment on both sides. How many times has sending your child to time out left you still feeling frustrated and your children still mad? Redirecting provides a more long-lasting alternative that prevents this emotional build-up.

Redirecting can be used for behaviors that are:

• Harmful
• Disruptive
• Unsafe
• Destructive
• Inappropriate

How Do You Redirect Behavior?

The first step to redirecting behavior is pausing. Take a deep breath. Allowing emotion to control you will not help anyone in this circumstance, so just take a moment to re-focus yourself. Remind yourself that your goal in this interaction is not to control and stop your child’s behavior, but rather to give them a choice to do something that everyone will enjoy more.

Rephrase

Our kid’s brains are just like our brains; when you tell us something NOT to do, all we can do is focus on it. No one likes being told no, and often being told no just means we are more likely to do that thing. Our kids are just like us; being told no often is not a complete deterrent.

A solution to this issue is rephrasing your command. People, even young children, respond better to a choice, so instead of saying “Stop stealing the toy from your sister,” you could say, “Why don’t you play with this toy instead?” By rephrasing, you are becoming an ally alongside your child, instead of the antagonist in their eyes.

Re-Focus

Kids are easily distractable, and usually, it might seem like herding cats when trying to get your kids to do something, but in this instance, it actually works in your favor. When you see some of the undesirable actions starting to take place, re-focus your child’s attention on something else.

If your child was upset about all of their favorite cereal being eaten by one of their siblings, before they have enough time to truly become upset by it, you could redirect their attention to helping you plan your next grocery list, or you can ask them what type of cereal they would invent if they owned a cereal factory. Taking their attention away from the undesirable behavior enables you to find a solution without seeming to ever have to fight against your child.

Remember that while redirection is a great tool, it is not a perfect solution. Often times it does not address the root cause behind the behavior. If a child was acting out because they were upset, merely redirecting the behavior is not going to address those feelings. It also is a challenging technique to use in the moment. Usually, emotions are running high, and it can be difficult to take a step back before you address your child. It takes great patience and practice.

However, it is important to remember that kids respond better to positive reinforcement, and our goal should be to come alongside our kids and guide them to being the best versions of themselves. To learn more about how to redirect your child’s behavior, visit The Learning Experience. For help finding a daycare center near you, visit this link.