How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying

Did you know that about twenty percent of kids report that they’ve been bullied? Of those bullied, forty-one percent of them think that they’re likely to get bullied again. Given this percentage, it’s important to take an anti-bullying stance with your kids. Parents often worry that their kids are dealing with bullies, but you don’t want your child to become a bully either.

That’s why we’re here to give you anti-bullying tips so your kids know how to treat people with kindness.

Define What Bullying Is

Bullying may not be easy for young kids to understand if they haven’t experienced it yet. That’s why you should sit down with them and define it in clear terms.

Here is a loose definition of bullying that you can share with your kids. When someone is being a bully, they are purposely inflicting hurt. Sometimes this is verbal, and sometimes it’s physical.

Bullies behave this way to assert themselves as bigger, stronger, and more influential. It is often tied to status. Sometimes kids bully others because they think it will help them move up the social ladder.

Though it is in no way exhaustive, here are some examples of bullying:

• Pushing, shoving, tripping
• Mocking the way someone talks
• Making fun of another child’s clothing, hair, or physical appearance
• Pointing out how a certain child is different from others (alienation)

Even if your child isn’t dealing with bullies, it’s good for them to recognize these behaviors. That way, if anyone in the classroom is dealing with bullies, they can report it to an adult.

Treat People with Kindness

How do you keep your children from becoming a bully? In the true spirit of anti-bullying, you teach them to treat people with kindness.

This starts by first acknowledging differences. Kids come from a variety of ethnic groups, races, socioeconomic backgrounds, and religions. Other kids have distinct features about them that set them apart from the norm.

The best thing you can do is teach your child to respect differences. In fact, these differences are beautiful. They’re what make us unique.

Unfortunately, the sad truth is that humans remember negative emotions with more vivacity than positive emotions.

Here are ways to encourage your child to treat people with kindness:

• Inviting other kids to play
• Sitting with another child when they’re alone
• Share toys or snacks
• Say please and thank you

How to Keep Your Child From Becoming a Bully

Our child becoming a bully is the last thing we want to see happen. What do we do to keep it from happening?

One of our best childcare tips is to stay engaged with them. When they come home from school, ask about how their day went. Specifically, ask them about their friendships at school.

Now that you’ve educated your children about bullying, you can also ask them to point out examples of other kids’ bullying. This will test their discernment. Plus, the child dealing with bullies can get help.

You should also keep in touch with your child’s teacher. It’s their job to report any inappropriate behavior to you. However, it never hurts to reiterate how serious you are about your kids’ behavior.

Why Are Some Kids Becoming a Bully?

We discussed earlier why kids are becoming a bully, but there is a deeper layer to this.

A lot of kids turn into bullies because there are issues going on at home. Perhaps a strain between their parents is causing them stress. They have this pent-up frustration or anxiety that they then take out on kids at school.

Another reason could be that their family mistreats them, and they repeat this behavior at school. This is especially true if they feel neglected or unseen. In their mind, negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Teach Empathy

While these behaviors in no way justify anyone becoming a bully, it is a reason for empathy. Not every child has the ideal situation at home.

Exploring these deeper topics with your child will help them to see other kids in a new light. Otherwise, your child may want to mistreat their bully to “get back” at them.

Kids shouldn’t treat others how they deserve to be treated, but how they themselves want to be treated.

Be the Example

Kids learn by doing. This means that they’re bound to repeat everything you do, whether it’s good or bad.

The same goes for siblings. Are their siblings treating you with respect? Are they treating each other with respect? Getting that foundation at home will help them treat people with kindness at school too.

Practice with Them

If your child is dealing with bullies, it isn’t always obvious how to respond in the moment. This is especially true for kids who are a little more reserved.

It is always a good time to set up a few scenarios. Ask them, “If someone says this to you, what is an appropriate thing to say?” This way, they will know how to respond if they encounter a bully.

Meet Their Friends

Who are your kids befriending? While your kids will learn some behavior by watching you, they also learn it from other kids.

Sometimes, kids avoid being bullied by copying the behavior of the bullies. Maybe they act a certain way to stay higher in the social hierarchy.

If your child is becoming a bully and you aren’t sure why, then it’s time to evaluate who their friends are. If their friends are bullies, it’s time to encourage them to find new friends.

Practice Anti-Bullying Today

We as parents want nothing more than to see our kids succeed. Unfortunately, dealing with bullies is something that most kids will experience. We also don’t want our kids becoming the bully.

That’s why we must have conversations about anti-bullying with our kids to prepare them for what’s ahead. At TLE, learning isn’t just about academics. It’s about learning how to treat people with kindness, too.

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