A Child’s Temperament: Understanding Persistent and Persnickety Children

70 percent of parents struggle to communicate with their children. With each generation, parenting advice continues to evolve.

These days, parents are surrounded by buzzwords. But when it all comes down to one thing: understanding your child. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution.

All you can do is understand your child’s temperament and go from there. Children’s temperaments are very different. What works for one child will throw another into emotional turmoil.

If you’re struggling with your child’s temperament, consider what words you would use to describe it. Depending on your child, the words ‘persnickety’ or ‘persistency’ may come up.

We’ve assembled a guide to persistence for kids to help you understand your child and how to communicate with them. Let’s get started!

What Is Persistence?

According to Merriam-Webster, persistence is ‘the act of continuing without change’. Sometimes, this continuance doesn’t change even with ‘intervention of treatment.’

Persistence for kids is usually tied to how they approach tasks. Does your child get persnickety when you try to interrupt them during a task? While a task could be a chore, it could be a goal like tying their own shoes or completing an imaginary game with their stuffed animals.

Some children are very persistent. If you often get involved in power struggles with your children, congratulations! You may have a persistent child that won’t give up on their goals or dreams easily.

Persistence for kids often manifests as a refusal to give up or ask for help. If your child often insists that they ‘can do it’ when you try to help, they’re being persistent.

This can often lead to your child presenting as demanding, persnickety, or uncompromising.

Is My Child Persistent?

When you’re trying to gauge your child’s level of persistence, it can be helpful to track the following behaviors.

• How easily your child give up on tasks, homework, chores, and so forth
• How easily they accept help
• How easily they do things ‘your way’ rather than ‘their way’
• How easily they stop activities
• How often they see things through, like puzzles or challenges
• How often they get completely engrossed in toys, activities, sports, games, lessons, and other activities

If your child is tenacious, you may realize that your child almost always sees things through. Once they get set on something, they never give up.

What does this actually mean for your child? If your child never gives up or gives in, this may result in them being labeled as a ‘frustrating child’. Fortunately, persistence for kids can indicate positive traits that can be fostered well into adulthood.

What If My Child Isn’t Persistent?

Of course, your child may not be persistent. Every child’s temperament is different!

Does your child tend to:

• Have a meltdown when they get frustrated
• Leave projects, assignments, or tasks unfinished
• Need help to finish something they started
• Give up easily

If this is the case, your child may not be classified as persistent. Instead, they need your help in other ways—breaking tasks down into bite-sized pieces or giving them a pep talk to persevere.

How Does Your Child’s Temperament Manifest?

The above questions can help you decide whether your child could be classified as ‘persistent’ or not. However, persistence often manifests as behaviors that you may not know how to cope with.

How does your child respond to being told no? If your child asks for something, how do they pursue their goal? Sometimes, persistent children will beg, cry, insist, and throw tantrums.

Sometimes, persistent children will do what they want anyway. To them, ‘no’ is often heard as ‘now.’ If you told your child not to go on the swings, for instance, would they probably do it anyway? If so, you probably have a tenacious child on your hands.

Do you often feel worn down by the sheer force of your child’s personality? You may find yourself giving in, just to avoid a Herculean conflict that you really don’t have the energy for.

What does this actually mean? Some parents of persistent children will often worry that they are raising a ‘brat.’ This isn’t the case!

Raising Children Into Successful Adults

In today’s world, persistence isn’t optional. It may take many tries before your child gets to the opportunities, college, or job of their dreams.

Trying, again and again, is a valuable trait. After all, giving up when things get hard is a recipe for disaster in many cases.

Children who tend to be strong-willed and persistent will often accomplish great things as adults. They are often goal-oriented and stick with something long after others would have given up.

This can be challenging when they stick with doing things you told them not to! But all those power struggles on the playground are often worth it when you raise tenacious adults that know when to keep going.

Persistent kids often listen closely to instructions. Whether they implement them is a whole different conversation! But they often do well with explicit instructions that help guide them to a successful task.

Persistence for kids often manifests as young adults that become high achievers and great leaders. Every parent is trying to raise leaders who stand up for what’s right and blaze their own trail.

Understanding Your Child’s Temperament

Understanding your child’s temperament and being able to communicate with them is a big part of successful parenting. As a parent, you can help teach your children strategies to motivate themselves, finish tasks, and accept instructions.

The goal is to raise emotionally resilient children that can thrive in today’s world. To do this, start by teaching your child how to self-soothe and regulate.

Often, this takes time and patience. When your child starts getting visibly worked up, you can show them how to take a time out, which often occurs by modeling a few deep breaths.

Or, you can teach your child to remove themselves from a situation until he calms down. No feeling is bad, but how your child deals with it is—which is a skill that many adults haven’t mastered yet!

If you’re looking for support with raising resilient children, find a TLE center today! We can help.