3 Ways to Have A Successful Roommate Relationship

Make Friends

Many times you will be rooming with someone you either do not know well or even at all. This can often be intimidating because you are now sharing a substantial part of your life with a stranger. A great way to change that is by becoming friends. Taking your roommate out for dinner, playing some get-to-know-you games, and asking questions are all great ways to break down the walls between you so you can start the relationship off on the right foot. 

Becoming friends with your roommate has several positives, which includes making your living space a safe place for you. If there is a stranger living with you, often it limits how comfortable you feel in the space. However, it is your home, and you should feel comfortable being yourself there. By making friends with your roommate, it allows you to be comfortable in your own home. Additionally, if you become friends, your roommate will be more willing to listen and care about what you have to say whenever you might have to bring up a concern with them because they value your friendship and you as a person.

Upfront Communication

Even though it might be uncomfortable to initiate a conversation about chores, cleanliness, or pet peeves, it is imperative that you and your roommate discuss this upfront. By doing so, you will help prevent confusion and miscommunication later on. 

There are several topics that you should consider discussing upfront. One of the first ones is house rules and chore lists. House rules are a must because they will get you and your roommate on the same page regarding many different issues, and establish expectations going forward that both of you can fall back on whenever there is a disagreement. 

Some important house rules to discuss are:

• Policy on guests including if a person from another gender is allowed into the house at all hours
• Quiet Hours
• Policy on sharing common items like dishes, pots, pans, TVs, toilet paper, etc.
• Policy on sharing food
• Limits and usage of the bathroom
• Boundaries
• Chore division and schedule
• Pet peeves

Communication is an essential part of a roommate relationship both at the beginning and throughout the rest of the relationship. If there is a problem, the worst way to handle it is by ignoring it or letting it build up. Instead be open with your roommate, so that the situation can be handled in a mature way that doesn’t end in a yelling match. 

Take Responsibility

Many downfalls of relationships begin with the blame game. Always pointing the finger at what your roommate did wrong is a recipe for another roommate horror story. Instead, you should set an example in every part of the relationship, whether that be in the chores, following house rules, initiating roommate bonding nights, or even just asking your roommate how their day went. Being an example also means that you should be the first one to admit when you made a mistake and apologize first when your roommate brings an issue to your attention instead of becoming defensive. No one is perfect, and you will make mistakes too, but being humble enough to admit you did something wrong and apologize instead of trying to argue your innocence, shows your roommate that you value their concerns. Therefore, they will be more likely to value yours. 

No one wants a terrible roommate experience, but improving your situation always begins with you. You cannot expect a positive experience without putting in the effort, so now you know three ways you can take steps to improve your experience.